No, We're Not Actually Nice

This morning, whilst checking my news feed on Facebook, I got a little upset.

You see, a friend of mine has proclaimed love for the United States because of how friendly everyone is there.

(Dear friend: I'm not being a passive-aggressive Kraut by bitching about you on my blog behind your back. I really actually was going to write a condensed version of this on your post, but I figured that may have created quite the negative reaction. So there you go.)

We all like stereotypes. I know I like stereotypes. (Didya see my super-sneaky use of "passive-aggressive Kraut in the above paragraph?) Back in my days of Social Psych, before I finally got my head around the fact I suck at multiple-choice exams and thus would never make it successfully through a Psych degree, we learned all about how necessary for our tiny little pigeon brains it is to stereotype, since if our brains would overload and explode if they had to always process new information every time they came across it.

Or something to that effect.

But anyhoo, I am fully aware stereotypes are sometimes true, sometimes not true, sometimes wacky. But I digress.

Americans are not friendly, just like Canadians are not nice and Germans are not passive-aggressive (unless, of course, they are engaging in Nachbarkrieg... just some samples from distressed expats). I mean, some Americans are friendly, some Canadians are nice, and some Germans (damn skippy) are passive-aggressive.

From a Canadian (which, if you ask anyone except Canadians, may very well be taken as an American):

People aren't any nicer or friendlier in North America than they are elsewhere. They will, however, engage in copious amounts of small talk, smile a lot, and act overly polite when they mean anything otherwise. It's how we were raised.

Mother to Johnny: "Now, Johnny, that's not nice! Say you're sorry to the old man who stepped on your foot and complained about it! Wish him a nice day!"
Johnny to Old Man: "I'm sorry, Sir. I hope your day gets better." *through gritted teeth, wishing the old man nothing but a slow, painful death*

Okay, yeah, exaggeration, but whatevs.

Since we're gonna play the fun stereotype card today, I'll just come out and say that I actually like that most Germans don't get friendly-friendly with you right from the beginning. Then you know where you stand. If a German gets nice with you, you know that you've made a friend. In Canada/US, if someone starts getting snippy with you and being a general jerkface, you know you've made a friend because now you get to see what they're really like. I guess I've been gone long enough that, when I'm back home on vacation and a teller/cashier is nice to me, all they get is a bewildered look back that says, "Hey, dude, why are you smiling at me? I don't wanna be your friend!"

Okay, moral-of-the-story time.

Americans are not nicer than anyone else. They're just pretending to be. Don't be fooled by appearances. It's all just a different social game than over on the other side of the ocean, and it's a facade.

Thank you for your time.