Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

So, I hated "Night at the Museum." I thought it was lame, and frankly, kind of scary. I'm not exactly sure what I was thinking when I suggested to H. that we should go see the sequel. I hadn't even seen the trailer. More than anything, I think I was craving popcorn.

Anyway.

http://opinionsandexpressions.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/night_at_the_museum_2_movie_review.jpg

I actually found the movie hilarious. It was really funny! And of course, being the history buff that I am, enjoyed the characters and their personalities. I was especially fond of Ivan the Terrible's insistence on answering with either нет or да all the time. I also thought Amy Adams did an excellent job with her role as Amelia Earhart.

Maybe it's just because I'm in a women's history class right now, but I was inspired.

And of course, I fell in love with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson in "Zoolander," my all-time favourite

movie.

I guess it was a combination of good actors and lots of laughs, but I had a lot of fun at this one.

I give it two T-Rex-sized thumbs-up.

Is it that time again?

I can't believe it's already time for finals again. Okay, granted my finals are oddly two weeks before the end of classes for the summer semester. But they're next week! Yikes! Time is really going quickly! The nice thing about having finals before the end of the semester, though, is that I'm not quite hating life yet. I'm close, but not that struggling-to-wake-up-and-not-kill-yourself close. Not yet, anyway. We'll see what happens when I have done my finals and still have to actually do coursework for the last two weeks. This could be a good thing, or a very, very bad thing. Especially because I'll be in France for the last two weeks of the semester. I can't say I'll have a lot of time for homework between intensive French lessons and nice weather on the Mediterranean. After all, my host-mother did say "Il fait très chaud." And who said the survival French you learned in fourth grade Canadian French class would be useless? Ha. Il fait du soleil, et il fait chaud. Well.... not here. But apparently in France, en l'été. I'm really going to have to cut out the French, aren't I?

I'm rambling again. Point is -- I'm excited to be done with my finals so I can actually enjoy a rockin' two weeks of summer. And then it's back to the grind, when I finally suck it up and complete that stupid math requirement for my BA. I don't do math, thanks. Luckily, I enrolled in dumb math. You know, the kind for arts students. And I took advanced math in high school. This means I've actually learned everything I will "learn" next semester, albeit the fact I haven't used it in the last, oh, six years. I guess I'll just look at it as a refresher I can forget about right away. Decent. I hope I can say the same for those chemistry and biology requirements I need for my degree, as well. I don't think I'll be able to say the same for my intro to computer programming... Yuck.

Anyway, I hope that wherever you are, it's sunnier than it is here. Okay, it's sunny here. But cold. Yesterday was the first (and only) nice day we've had all "summer." So, hopefully you've got a sunburn and don't need that fake tanning lotion that I do. Well, for another week and a half, at least.

And you know what? It seems like I've dropped off on my "How to FAIL as a Professor" series. I've only got one entry so far this semester. I guess that's actually a good thing. It doesn't mean I hate life as much. Maybe this will continue until I graduate in March? Or am I being a bit too optimistic?

Needles in Arms

Bleeding dog is gone, the floor is no longer spotted with red, and I can finally breathe again. Oh, wait. Scratch that. I can't move my arms because I got a boatload of immunizations today. I feel kind of like I did when I was a baby and got mumps, rubella, measles, etc. At least, I think I do. I can't really remember that far back. Maybe I'm already starting to lose my memory. Who knows?

So, yesterday I booked an appointment for a booster shot of Tetanus and Diphtheria. I was happy to get in this morning. Well... as happy as one can be to get a needle. Anyway, I wasn't up for the booster for another two years yet, but apparently Germany's got bad luck with Whooping Cough. Okay, not bad luck. They don't immunize for it, so everyone gets it. And so I was advised by the needle-happy military medical system to go ahead and get my Td early, so I could get TdaP instead. Super. Except I saw my third military needle-giver today (I've been getting other rounds of shots, too). And, like the other two before him, he demanded why I don't have any immunizations. Exasperatedly, I told him they were in Canada, and I'd try to get them if the health authorities hadn't already tossed them. So, he settled and told me I should be getting a slew of other injections that I hadn't already had, all the while threatening me with more needles, should the kind folks back home not have saved my records.

I shouldn't make it sound all bad. I was actually planning to get the Hep A vaccine one of these days anyway. But that day wasn't supposed to be today. As a 1.0 mL shot in the same arm as my TdaP. Why didn't the Hep A go in the other arm, you ask? Because the other arm had already got a hefty dose of a one-time-never-worry-about-being-a-freshman-in-a-dorm-and-having-brain-swelling meningitis vaccine. Cool.

Now I can barely move my arms enough to take on and off the sweater I'm wearing, because it's that terrible in-between temperature where you can't decide if it's hot or cold. Right on.

I hope you'll excuse me so I can go get excited for my trip to France, now! (That happens in about a week and a half, thankyouverymuch.)

Dogs in Heat: Why?

So, some friends of ours asked if we would watch their dog for the weekend. Okay, I didn't have much say in the matter, as H. accepted before asking me. I mean, it's not that big of a deal; Sandie is old, and just lies there. I take her out to go to the bathroom every four hours, and everyone is happy. Simple.

Except for the fact she's in heat. Here's where I get a bit graphic. Put down your cheeseburger. See, the thing is, I've never seen a dog in heat before (I know, so unworldly of me). I mean, we always got our dogs fixed before they had a chance to get all bloody. And I got Max clipped as soon as possible (what a nightmare it was when he started spraying in the house. Yuck). Anyway. There is blood on my floor, and I'm struggling to keep up with cleaning. It doesn't help that my own finger-blood grosses me out. This is full-on doggy-vagina blood. Yes, I know it's natural. But it's gross wiping up after it all the time. It's even more gross when she licks it up. I hope you weren't eating. Because if you were, you're probably in the bathroom throwing up now, yes? I'm tempted to buy a doggy-diaper of sorts. Wouldn't that be more practical?

Before babysitting dog in heat, I was always pro-spaying/neutering. Now, I'm DEFINITELY pro-spaying/neutering. Seriously, people, listen to Bob Barker's famous words, and get your pet spayed or neutered. Especially if you're not breeding the critters.. Unlike Bob, I'm not saying this because I want YOU to help control the pet population. I'm saying it because in-house spraying (for males) and blood drippings (for females) are gross. Seriously. Dogs should be cute and cuddly. Not oozing with all their animal sexuality.

(Image from: http://privatecanine.com/images/cgp-diaper.jpg)

Potpourri

Today, I can't stop smiling. It's days like today that remind me I made a good choice in studying what I love: history. Studying what you enjoy isn't always possible; sometimes, no matter how much you love it, you suck at it. Kind of like my love for, say, singing. I sound like a strangled duck. No matter.

Anyway, I got some great feedback on a couple papers of mine in my European Women's History class. "Superior work" was the term used. Before you think I'm just patting myself on the back, sometimes I wonder if I'm getting carried off by wanting to go into academia, getting completely in over my head. I probably am, but it's good to know that at least one doctor of history thinks I'm on the right track. What I should be doing is collecting these comments so when I have a professor like the one I had last semester (see How to FAIL as a Professor for more details), I can remind myself why I'm studying history.

I know I'm in for a long road. Hence my upcoming trip to France. Oh wait, I didn't TELL you I'm going to France? Well, yeah baby, I am! And despite heading for beautiful Hyères, I'm not going for a vacation (though I do hope to get in some beach time). I'm going to refresh that cobweb-covered French I developed in my primary and secondary school years. Word on the street is that if I want to research French history, I should probably be able to complete my research in French. Go figure. So, taking the head of U of Birmingham's program to heart, I'm off to France for a couple of two-week stints to improve what I already know. After all, I don't need to be perfect in French before I apply. Heck, my French probably doesn't even need to be as fluent as my German. But it should be better than the cobweb mess that it is right now.

Watch this space for some pictures in August. It'll be awesome... I hope.

Finland Pictures! Finally!

Okay, so I figure I'm never going to write a play-by-play of my trip to Finland. Unfortunately, it's never going to happen. So, I thought I'd at least post a couple pictures from my trip, seeing as I have nothing better to write about these days. So here goes...

So obviously, this isn't Finland. But E. had never had a really girls' night. You know, chick flicks to make you cry and so much junk food to make you throw up. Maybe it's a North American thing. So, we went to the market, got as much junk food as we could carry, and took it back to E. and L.'s place for some girl time. The only rule? L. wasn't allowed to join. I have to say though, E. really isn't too experienced with the whole junk food thing. She gave up about five minutes into Love Actually...

Another thing that gets me about Finland? It looks like Canada. The nice thing about knowing this, though, is that there are REAL places to go hiking and camping (not just this whole trailer-obsession that the Germans have). And, as an added bonus, it's a lot cheaper to fly to Finland than Canada. Seriously.

And this is E. and me at the Arctic Circle. I never thought I'd go so far north. And even more than that, I never thought it was possible to burn in the sun when you're that far north. Nice.

Oh, our bikes. They loved each other. Seriously. Every time we went downtown on our bikes, they'd end up entangled in their love for each other. Unfortunately, the love story, like so many, was short-lived. E.'s bike (well, actually her friend's) was stolen from their apartment complex before I left. They also cut the lock and tried to steal the one I was using (the white one). The lock was all twisted in the spokes. It was nasty. And seriously, who'd try to steal that sexy-looking bike? Really?

And here is a picture of the bay in downtown Oulu. It was quite nice there. E. and I would just sit here, eat ice cream, and listen to live music. The dude there had an obsession with Bryan Adams. On the plus side, that meant I could understand and sing along with the lyrics. That's always a bonus. And, I even understood what he meant at the end of every song when he said "Kiitos, kiitos."

Way Number Seven to FAIL as a Professor

Alas, my friends. Tales of crappy professors didn't end with the muppet from last semester. I've got a new one this semester, and he really enjoys just basking in his muppet-like glory of assigning a butt load of work and then screwing off, unable to help you.

Now, for purposes of quasi-anonymity, I won't reveal the secret of which class this is. But I'll give you a hint: it has concepts that I don't understand. And I promise, it's not because I'm a douche. I had an easier time with Pure Math 30 than this garbage. And I suck at math. And the kicker is, the prof won't take any time to explain or elaborate on any mistakes. Rather, it's a case of "figure it out for yourself."

So...

Way number seven to FAIL as a professor:

7. It pisses me off that you don't give a crap. Seriously, dude. I want to actually learn this subject you supposedly love. Share the love. I want some. Don't brush me off. I'm not in this class to screw around; I'm here to learn. So, don't be such a dick-head. Please.

I think this is it. I'm creating a satellite blog all about douche-bag professors. Stay tuned.

Summer? What's that? What is the sun?

So, another day sitting on the sofa, doing research, with a movie playing in the background. Oh, and Maxie sitting on my lap in such a way he can be comfortable to sleep, but I have to be twisted into some sort of pretzel position to get at my computer. Is this his way of telling me something? Today's movie? Liebe braucht keine Ferien. Yes, I know I could watch the Holiday in English. But I'll tell you; if you don't use it, you lose it. Especially with languages. And losing my German in Germany would be embarrassing. So I use it.

Anyhow, it's raining today. Again. I saw more summer in one week in Finland than I've seen all "summer" here in Deutschland. It rains every day, and lately it's been really cold, too. Now, this wouldn't be such a big deal if I was staying here most of the winter. After all, the winters here are mild. Though just my luck, this winter would be -20 every day, and all the Germans would die of hypothermia. But I'll be back visiting in Canada, where -20 would be a tropical winter vacation.

Seriously, though. The weather sucks around the globe. It was snowing at my mom's house well into June. It's still freezing there. And I don't remember what t

he sun actually is. Sometimes I wonder if seeing it was just some sort of fantasy I had long ago. Or something. And they say we are victim to global warming? Aside from the fact I'm of the opinion we were just finishing off with an ice age and think global warming is crap, I'd like to know where all this global warming is taking place. I'd like to go there. On vacation. In my bikini.

Wait a second. The above picture is from my honeymoon in Mexico. It doesn't look too sunny to me. Maybe the sun doesn't exist. Okay, that proves it. Global warming? Where are all these sunny vacation spots?

And now I'm filled with thoughts of beach vacations instead of interracial marriage in the 166os and the slave codes of Maryland and Virginia. That can't be good. Why does this always happen to me?

Brüno

So, last night I went to go see Brüno. One word: WUNDERBAR!

As you probably know, it takes a lot to shock me. Things that disgust most people interest me. I'm weird like that. And Brüno was no exception. I was excited to find people I could actually go with, seeing as H. really isn't interested in that sort of thing. Come to think of it, most people I know aren't, seeing as they're normal and all. But I laughed the entire time.

I really couldn't believe, though, that they played this movie in Germany. There were so many cracks at Nazi Germany I thought people would get up and walk out. The second misunderstood Austrian in the last century? Wow. Saluting at the US military by giving the Nazi salute? My goodness! And going on an African American talk show with your "gayby" O.J.? Priceless.

Some may call it tasteless. And when I say some, I mean the other 99.9% of the population that aren't mentally sick, like me. But I think Brüno did an excellent job of saying what everyone is thinking. And somehow, he did so and made it out of the Middle East alive. King Obama looks like a homeless Santa Claus? Yikes.

If you don't scare easily/have any morals, go see Brüno. And if you aren't into that sort of thing, be horrified that there is actually a portion of the population that is demented enough to find this sort of stuff funny.

My rating? 3 dildos up (one white, one black, and one strap-on)

Charlaine Harris - My Newest Literary Obsession

I can honestly say that before Twilight, I had no interest in fantasy/sci-fi novels. And really, I still don't. I don't particularly care for flying uniforms or characters with funny names. Yet three series have captured my attention, namely Harry Potter, Twilight, and now the Sookie Stackhouse novels.

There's something to be said about ongoing series that are purely escapist. Anyone who knows me would know I suffered years' long bout of Harry Potter obsession. Back in the day, I could describe any character, any event, anything really. In hindsight, it was pathetic, I admit it. But let's face it -- Harry Potter was absorbing. Completely. But after the Deathly Hallows came out, I went cold turkey, knowing staying so obsessed just for the crappy movies really wasn't worth it. And I got over it. Twilight was easier to get over, seeing as there were only four books in the series, and they were already all published by the time M. forced me to read them. So, no desperate obsessing over what would happen next.

But knowing my obsession for Twilight (read: Edward), H. bought me the Sookie Stackhouse novels for my birthday. Okay, they were an early birthday present, but still. Ten books and a week later, I'm stuck twiddling my thumbs until May when the next book comes out, and I can find out what's going to happen next. I hate waiting, really. I really don't like it. But maybe it's just what I need -- something to look forward to in the book world. Shame I'm sitting around waiting for almost a year for a book I'll finish in a couple of hours...

I even tried satisfying my err... craving by watching True Blood. Yuck. The books are a lot less bloody in my head, I'll tell you.

So that's me in a nutshell. Compulsive reader always in search of instant literary gratification. Oh, who am I kidding? I hate waiting. Period.