So, here I am taking a break from revising my thesis (so much harder than writing it, btw), and I decide to take a 5-er and check out my news feed on Facebook. Lo and behold, almost every post is about someone going to an end-of-the-world party, and the whole time I'm thinking "Wow, and here I am sitting with my thesis on a Friday ni... Wait?! Weltuntergang? Wasn't that last year?" Only to see, of course, the more, errrmmm... reputable sites informing me that an asteroid was about to whiz past the earth.
NBD, though, because I checked my news feed five minutes after it apparently went by.
Good thing that whole Armageddon thing would probably mean no people would be left on the earth, cuz I'd hate to be that guy who was tolling away on a humanities project (which most people consider to be totally not worthwhile at the best of times) as the world ended.
I hope you would have had a cooler dying story than me, that's all I can say.
But, for the record, were I to totally almost-not-really die again, I'd totally still be kickin' it with them antislavery women-folk.
15 February 2013
I want me some JT/Barney Stinson NOW, AKA LIKE YESTERDAY
The whole media/culture constellation in Krautland is wack.
I mean, there's the whole GEZtapo thing, which is now attempting to market itself as a "service" rather than a fucking tax that people don't get to vote on democratically (as if voting ever made a super duper difference anyway). Though I have a whole lot I could say about the Geztap... *ahem* Beitragsservice, today (like every day) my beef is with GEMA.*
I hate GEMA because it makes me feel disconnected with the coolness out on the world wide web. Also because it's frustrating to hear about how something is "all the rave", but then find out that you are not able to partake in said rave.
So, today I was watching sxephil on YouTube again (Dear GEMA: Block him and it's over. For realsies.), and he had a video which ever so hinted at the awesomeness of Suit & Tie.
Alas, what did I find?
Oh, yeah.
Normally Clipfish solves most of my problems if I'm trying to find an original video of something embarrassingly awesome (which is even more embarrassing judging by the fact something so awesome only has 35K hits -- awesome website, brah), but there's no official video of Suit & Tie on there yet. Probably because someone at Clipfish is in bed with someone at GEMA, and one of those someones hasn't finished pulling out and washing up in order to upload the fucking video yet.
I hate feeling so restricted in my internet surfing/stalking of cute cat and JT videos. And I hate that it necessitates people to encourage me to do sketchy internet things to get around these issues of silly things like international borders/censorship because the German government/related cronies all want their fair chance to sink their dirty hands into the honey jar.
FFS, I want JT's video just so I can be like "Heh! This is totally Barney's theme song! LMFAO!" with the rest of the world.
Is that too much to ask?!
*For those overseas folk of you, GEMA is a nice system that technically exists to give artists of all kinds the royalties they deserve. This is questionable since GEMA apparently takes a nice slice of that pie. It is also completely annoying because the end result is Germany being more censored from internet awesomeness than communist China. For more news, you could search on the interwebbies and read for days!
I mean, there's the whole GEZtapo thing, which is now attempting to market itself as a "service" rather than a fucking tax that people don't get to vote on democratically (as if voting ever made a super duper difference anyway). Though I have a whole lot I could say about the Geztap... *ahem* Beitragsservice, today (like every day) my beef is with GEMA.*
I hate GEMA because it makes me feel disconnected with the coolness out on the world wide web. Also because it's frustrating to hear about how something is "all the rave", but then find out that you are not able to partake in said rave.
So, today I was watching sxephil on YouTube again (Dear GEMA: Block him and it's over. For realsies.), and he had a video which ever so hinted at the awesomeness of Suit & Tie.
Alas, what did I find?
Oh, yeah.
Normally Clipfish solves most of my problems if I'm trying to find an original video of something embarrassingly awesome (which is even more embarrassing judging by the fact something so awesome only has 35K hits -- awesome website, brah), but there's no official video of Suit & Tie on there yet. Probably because someone at Clipfish is in bed with someone at GEMA, and one of those someones hasn't finished pulling out and washing up in order to upload the fucking video yet.
I hate feeling so restricted in my internet surfing/stalking of cute cat and JT videos. And I hate that it necessitates people to encourage me to do sketchy internet things to get around these issues of silly things like international borders/censorship because the German government/related cronies all want their fair chance to sink their dirty hands into the honey jar.
FFS, I want JT's video just so I can be like "Heh! This is totally Barney's theme song! LMFAO!" with the rest of the world.
Is that too much to ask?!
*For those overseas folk of you, GEMA is a nice system that technically exists to give artists of all kinds the royalties they deserve. This is questionable since GEMA apparently takes a nice slice of that pie. It is also completely annoying because the end result is Germany being more censored from internet awesomeness than communist China. For more news, you could search on the interwebbies and read for days!
14 February 2013
Survivor 26: Douchebags vs. Wingnuts
Survivor 26 Fan vs. Favorites Premiere: An Ode to Boston Rob
(How Fitting for Valentine's Day...)
I don't know what makes me feel older... The fact I distinctly remember drooling over love-of-my-life Colby Donaldson of Australia back when I was at swim camp in Arizona in those olden days when I was still an athlete, or the fact I'll soon be closing in on a decade of post-secondary.
So, anyway, I decided to watch the first episode. And because of the fact I'd actually be more in love (you know, in the way teenage girls are in love with celebrities... as in: not actually) with Boston Rob than Colby if he wasn't married to freaking hot Ambaaah, I couldn't get him out of my head the entire episode. For the obvious reasons, and also because it seems the only way them Survivor folk can keep people interested across the plethora of seasons is to constantly mention either Boston Rob as a HERO OF THE GAME, or Russell Hantz as the DEVIL HIMSELF REINCARNATED.
So, in an ode-to-Boston-Rob way, here are some Season 26 Episode 1 survivor dedications to him -- both intentional and not -- in the first episode.
1. Some crazy woman (they seem to only cast identical blondes, so please excuse me when I don't note her name until she's already voted off) noted the following the snogging of fire-fighter Eddie* and some other blonde who shall remain nameless:
"Romantic alliances do not work on Survivor."
Now, please excuse me, Nameless Crazy Blonde, but may I please direct your attention to the likes of Boston Rob and Ambaaah, as well as Ethan and Jenna. There are also websites for people crazier than me out there who document more of the Survivor-lovers. Maybe YOU do not work on Survivor.
2. Underwear Phillip running a tally of Boston Rob's rules. BR rule number one! BR rule number two! BR rule number three! Blah, blah something about cutting everyone's throats except for family and Ambaaah, because her body is slammin'!
3. Okay, this one is not so obvious, which pretty much means I just made it up, but Eddie's whole "This is like the cool guys at the table in the cafeteria in high school"... First, omfg shut up. Second, I'm pretty sure you were not at BR's cool table in high school.
4. And, in closing to a blog post that turned from cheeky to miserably stalker-obsessed, there's the whole tribal council thing where Jeff felt like reminding people that real players of Survivor know the game moves fast, and that things can even change at tribal council. You know, like how Boston Rob would put a hand on the person's shoulder who was going to be voted out. Because he was the ringleader of the cool guys' table at high school and all that.
Oh, and by the by, kudos to Brandon for pointing that out. After an observant comment like that, you didn't have to see next week's preview to know he's just as snakey as his devil-reincarnated uncle.
*By the way Eddie, props to you for having the aptly named surname of Fox. Also, you're 23. Please stop making me feel like a grandmother/cradle robber. Thank you.
Okay, I've stopped. You may now return to your regular scheduled programming... You know, about stuff you actually care about. And while you're back with your regular scheduled programming, could you please pray for me that I don't also start blogging about Germany's Next Topmodel in a couple weeks?
xthxbye
13 February 2013
The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Yesterday After Work Edition
So, yesterday after work I went into the shopping district to buy some Salomon shoes. Why, you ask? Well, it seems that I'm giving in to the quasi-bullying I deal with every time I go to Allgäu. In a place where Salomon shoes are a way of life (For the grocery store! Work! Coffee!), my Vans encourage people to pointedly ask me when I'm just gonna give it up and get a pair of ridiculously expensive hiking shoes. (Because, apparently, were I to wear my hiking boots around, I'd immediately be marked as a poser-foreigner. Mountain-people can be so snobby.)
So, anyhoo, there's no fucking way I'm spending around 140 yoyos on shoes. I mean... If I was gonna spend 140 yoyos willingly and in one fell swoop, I'd spend it on books. If someone were to put a gun to my head and say "Buy shoes with your 140 yoyos," my first reaction would be, "Why are you holding a gun to my head and acting all serious saying yoyos, yo," and secondly, "Okay, then let's go to bargain Jumex and I'll go to town buying twelve to fourteen pairs of shoes for my hard-earned dough."
I have, however, decided to "give it up". I got my Salomon shoes all right... IN KID'S SIZE!
Here is the newest edition of "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly", where I would like to discuss my shopping experience of yesterday.
The Good:
Duh! Kid's shoes! I don't know who these ladies are who are buying their size 37 shoes in the women's department and not the children's. Yes, my shoes are that of a child's model. However, I fail to see how spending less than half of what I would were I to shop in the women's section is not f-ing amazing. Women with size 37 feet or smaller who are running around in women's shoes are not cool -- they're stupid. If they're so stupid they would rather spend an extra 100 yoyos on shoes "just so they're not the kids' version", they should probably spend another 100 yoyos on books.*
The Bad:
Don't get me wrong. I'm totally pumped that the days are getting longer. However, this whole dark-at-6:30 thing is weird. It's that weird in-between phase that makes me a little bit uncomfortable. It's like someone waving the carrot of summer in front of my nose, all the while with me knowing that summer is a long ways off. And, despite the extra two hours of sunlight, that it's still very much winter. This depresses me.
The Ugly:
Americans. I'm sorry. I'm even sorrier having to say this because I know most people who meet me or hear me speaking on the phone/to a friend in passing think I'm an American (PS, I hate you). You know what? I'd apply this to Canadians, too. We just sound so fucking stupid when we talk. Maybe I've just been living in the land of the disgruntled, direct German language for too long, or maybe it just stands out more in areas where English isn't the main language spoken, but frick we all sound like blundering idiots.
Exhibit one: Girl in a fur hat that made me think she was a twentieth-century channelling Russian at first glance. "Like, my parents paid soooo much for me to take the SAT's, you know? And if I, like, don't get into the top college that I really, reaaaaaaally want, I'll just be totally devastated. You seriously have no idea."
Exhibit two: Guys wandering behind me. Guy 1: "But, I mean, you probably don't have any problems fitting in here. You're a doctor for chrissakes." Guy 2: "I could totally just hang out with the expat crowd, but I really try to hang out with the locals. It makes the whole experience so much more authentic, you know?"
For some reason, when Germans talk about equally stupid things, it somehow doesn't come across so whiny and valley girl/surfer dude-like. It could be because everyone sounds so angry. Or because they don't speak so loudly.
Or it could be just me and the fact that, since I rarely hear English on a day-to-day basis, my ears pique to it immediately, only to regret it in about 3.5 seconds. (The ugliest fact of them all.)
*I'm not actually hatin' on people who can spend 140 yoyos on hiking shoes (which, unless you live in Allgäu or make monthly visits there, will maybe get used a maximum of three or four times per year tops). I'm insanely jealous. Those people should be saving their 200 yoyos (100 for what they saved by buying the kids pair and 100 for what I told them to use to buy books) and giving it to me.
So, anyhoo, there's no fucking way I'm spending around 140 yoyos on shoes. I mean... If I was gonna spend 140 yoyos willingly and in one fell swoop, I'd spend it on books. If someone were to put a gun to my head and say "Buy shoes with your 140 yoyos," my first reaction would be, "Why are you holding a gun to my head and acting all serious saying yoyos, yo," and secondly, "Okay, then let's go to bargain Jumex and I'll go to town buying twelve to fourteen pairs of shoes for my hard-earned dough."
I have, however, decided to "give it up". I got my Salomon shoes all right... IN KID'S SIZE!
Here is the newest edition of "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly", where I would like to discuss my shopping experience of yesterday.
The Good:
Duh! Kid's shoes! I don't know who these ladies are who are buying their size 37 shoes in the women's department and not the children's. Yes, my shoes are that of a child's model. However, I fail to see how spending less than half of what I would were I to shop in the women's section is not f-ing amazing. Women with size 37 feet or smaller who are running around in women's shoes are not cool -- they're stupid. If they're so stupid they would rather spend an extra 100 yoyos on shoes "just so they're not the kids' version", they should probably spend another 100 yoyos on books.*
The Bad:
Don't get me wrong. I'm totally pumped that the days are getting longer. However, this whole dark-at-6:30 thing is weird. It's that weird in-between phase that makes me a little bit uncomfortable. It's like someone waving the carrot of summer in front of my nose, all the while with me knowing that summer is a long ways off. And, despite the extra two hours of sunlight, that it's still very much winter. This depresses me.
The Ugly:
Americans. I'm sorry. I'm even sorrier having to say this because I know most people who meet me or hear me speaking on the phone/to a friend in passing think I'm an American (PS, I hate you). You know what? I'd apply this to Canadians, too. We just sound so fucking stupid when we talk. Maybe I've just been living in the land of the disgruntled, direct German language for too long, or maybe it just stands out more in areas where English isn't the main language spoken, but frick we all sound like blundering idiots.
Exhibit one: Girl in a fur hat that made me think she was a twentieth-century channelling Russian at first glance. "Like, my parents paid soooo much for me to take the SAT's, you know? And if I, like, don't get into the top college that I really, reaaaaaaally want, I'll just be totally devastated. You seriously have no idea."
Exhibit two: Guys wandering behind me. Guy 1: "But, I mean, you probably don't have any problems fitting in here. You're a doctor for chrissakes." Guy 2: "I could totally just hang out with the expat crowd, but I really try to hang out with the locals. It makes the whole experience so much more authentic, you know?"
For some reason, when Germans talk about equally stupid things, it somehow doesn't come across so whiny and valley girl/surfer dude-like. It could be because everyone sounds so angry. Or because they don't speak so loudly.
Or it could be just me and the fact that, since I rarely hear English on a day-to-day basis, my ears pique to it immediately, only to regret it in about 3.5 seconds. (The ugliest fact of them all.)
*I'm not actually hatin' on people who can spend 140 yoyos on hiking shoes (which, unless you live in Allgäu or make monthly visits there, will maybe get used a maximum of three or four times per year tops). I'm insanely jealous. Those people should be saving their 200 yoyos (100 for what they saved by buying the kids pair and 100 for what I told them to use to buy books) and giving it to me.
08 February 2013
I Like Books
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Welcome to the latest installment of "Building my Library/Books Only I Like"!
It's been an embarrassingly long time since I bought myself any books. The last two books I purchased from Amazon were for some book reviews I had to write for uni two semesters ago, and the last time I bought books for funsies/the expansion of my own personal library, I was still researching for an old Master's thesis topic which has long bit the dust.
Now that I'm done my last exam and am pretty much done my MA excepting the conclusion of my thesis and a lot of bureaucratic nonsense, I've decided to start loving reading and researching again.
So, today and yesterday, I received four awesomely awesome books to help me on my way (I suppose being home to get them is the plus point to locking myself in the flat over Karneval).
I've got:
Sister Societies: Women's Antislavery Organizations in Antebellum America by Beth Salerno, The Abolitionist Sisterhood: Women's Political Culture in Antebellum America edited by Jean Fagan Yellin and John C. Van Horne, Liberating Language: Sites of Rhetorical Education in Nineteenth-Century Black America by Shirley Wilson Logan and Education as Freedom: African American Educational Thought and Activism edited by Noel S. Anderson and Haroon Kharem.
I already tore through my library's copy of The Abolitionist Sisterhood a good year and a half ago, but it's such a good anthology that I wanted to have it to peruse at my leisure (yeah, I'm the weirdo who does that). As for the rest, although I bought them with the primary purpose of background reading for further research, I hope they'll be of use in sprucing up one of my chapters for my Master's thesis.
Yaaaay! Books! So much more satisfying than a cute pair of heels! (Though I wouldn't say no to the heels, either, if anyone's offering!)
Welcome to the latest installment of "Building my Library/Books Only I Like"!
It's been an embarrassingly long time since I bought myself any books. The last two books I purchased from Amazon were for some book reviews I had to write for uni two semesters ago, and the last time I bought books for funsies/the expansion of my own personal library, I was still researching for an old Master's thesis topic which has long bit the dust.
Now that I'm done my last exam and am pretty much done my MA excepting the conclusion of my thesis and a lot of bureaucratic nonsense, I've decided to start loving reading and researching again.
So, today and yesterday, I received four awesomely awesome books to help me on my way (I suppose being home to get them is the plus point to locking myself in the flat over Karneval).
I've got:
Sister Societies: Women's Antislavery Organizations in Antebellum America by Beth Salerno, The Abolitionist Sisterhood: Women's Political Culture in Antebellum America edited by Jean Fagan Yellin and John C. Van Horne, Liberating Language: Sites of Rhetorical Education in Nineteenth-Century Black America by Shirley Wilson Logan and Education as Freedom: African American Educational Thought and Activism edited by Noel S. Anderson and Haroon Kharem.
I already tore through my library's copy of The Abolitionist Sisterhood a good year and a half ago, but it's such a good anthology that I wanted to have it to peruse at my leisure (yeah, I'm the weirdo who does that). As for the rest, although I bought them with the primary purpose of background reading for further research, I hope they'll be of use in sprucing up one of my chapters for my Master's thesis.
Yaaaay! Books! So much more satisfying than a cute pair of heels! (Though I wouldn't say no to the heels, either, if anyone's offering!)
07 February 2013
Kölle Alaaf!
No offence to all you born-and-bred Rheinland people (or the "immigrants" who try really, really hard to fit in), but I just really can't take Karneval. I'm not a fan of loud, drunk groups of people in the first place, and those same loud, drunk groups of people take on a whole new dimension of crazy when they're dressed up.
Yes. Karneval is like mostly all the things I hate in the entire world mashed together into one week of debauchery.
Drunk groups of people making a ruckus? Check.
People dressed up like wackos? Check.
Schlager? Check.
Clowns? Also check.
I suppose I sound like a real downer (and I suppose I am), but the last time I dressed up for Halloween (which is as close as we Canucks get to this sort of clusterfuck), I was twelve. I mean, unless you count the time I went on a pub crawl when I was nineteen and put on a pair of shorts, a skimpy top and a cowboy hat to call myself a "sexy cowgirl". (See the link -- NSFW -- of other "sexy cowgirls" who highlight the fact that, as long as you're wearing a cowboy hat, you are a cowgirl. Full stop.) But anyway, I also don't like clowns. Or having to watch my step on the street to avoid vomit.
Normally I flee. Preferably to Canada. Really, though, I'd go anywhere. But, for a multitude of reasons, I find myself stuck here over the weekend.
So, after work at one job all day and then a meeting for my other job, I headed to the grocery store to stock up on provisions since I'm locking myself in my flat until Tuesday. Standing in line before me was a mouse buying pizza, and behind me were two dudes in bear suits buying a couple bottles of beer. Those were those same bears I saw on my walk home peeing on cars.
Ah, Karneval.
Yes. Karneval is like mostly all the things I hate in the entire world mashed together into one week of debauchery.
Drunk groups of people making a ruckus? Check.
People dressed up like wackos? Check.
Schlager? Check.
Clowns? Also check.
I suppose I sound like a real downer (and I suppose I am), but the last time I dressed up for Halloween (which is as close as we Canucks get to this sort of clusterfuck), I was twelve. I mean, unless you count the time I went on a pub crawl when I was nineteen and put on a pair of shorts, a skimpy top and a cowboy hat to call myself a "sexy cowgirl". (See the link -- NSFW -- of other "sexy cowgirls" who highlight the fact that, as long as you're wearing a cowboy hat, you are a cowgirl. Full stop.) But anyway, I also don't like clowns. Or having to watch my step on the street to avoid vomit.
Normally I flee. Preferably to Canada. Really, though, I'd go anywhere. But, for a multitude of reasons, I find myself stuck here over the weekend.
So, after work at one job all day and then a meeting for my other job, I headed to the grocery store to stock up on provisions since I'm locking myself in my flat until Tuesday. Standing in line before me was a mouse buying pizza, and behind me were two dudes in bear suits buying a couple bottles of beer. Those were those same bears I saw on my walk home peeing on cars.
Ah, Karneval.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)