BLIP: I like Candy

Tyrkisk Peber makes me happy. So does finding it on Amazon, which gives me the feeling that I can go ahead and eat the 12984 bags I brought back from Finland when my heart so desires.

Frühling ist da!

Don't get me wrong -- I don't like -30 and snow. I mean, I'm a crazy person, but not that much of a crazy person. While I'm at it, I don't much like a one-and-a-half-month summer.

I mean, life in Germany isn't that much better. It rains 346 days per year, for which ten nice days are hardly any consolation.

As much as I like the fact that Germany is warmer than back home at any given time, the seasons here still -- after six years, mind -- have a way of messing with me. Back home, we have the seasons of: almost winter, winter, still winter and construction. At the beginning in Germany, I liked having the four distinct seasons of: rain, cold rain, warm rain and yes it's still raining, mostly because there were leaves on the trees for more than two and a half months in any given year.

You'd think that, after all this time, the weather here would become normal and expected.

But, no. Really.

Last year I came back home from a winter-break trip to Canada in the middle of March. I ran around snapping pictures of the budding trees, because after so long, I still couldn't believe it. I came back from Finland this week, marvelling at the warm weather and the fact the Germans were still running around in coats like the winter apocalypse was coming (if they only knew a real winter...).

As nice as not having to be bundled up is, though, it just feels wrong. The back of my mind is still, after all these years, saying, "Just you wait! The heavy May/June snowfall that kills all the trees is still coming."

The one thing that was nice about Finland was that it was still winter. Technically the weather was warmer than seasonal, but there was still a bucketload of snow with temperatures regularly dipping fairly below freezing. March. Winter. Cold. Snow. Right.

Germany weather. Wrong.

I should stop complaining and bring out my nice summer pumps before the rain starts again.

But it just feels wrong that spring is springing. Cold weather is in the blood of a Canadian.

It's kind of like that temperature chart that has been floating around the interwebbies since the day the interwebbies were born:


50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat
Canadians plant gardens


40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Canadians sunbathe

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down


32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat
Canadians have the last cookout of the season

-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates
Canadians rent some videos

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen's freezes
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door

-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Canadians pull down their earflaps


-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg


-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over
The Flames win the Cup


(Yeah, it's been a slow day. But didn't you know that talking about the weather is a favoured national Canadian pastime?)

BLIP: Coming Back

Distance is a tricky little fucker, and I wonder if that makes coming back to Germany after a trip away harder than it needs to be. Not only are you plunged into a sea of disgruntled Germans grumbling into their phones or barking at the person next to them, but the distance between where you are and where you just were a few hours ago makes you pause and wonder -- did your trip actually happen, or were you just daydreaming until a more-disgruntled-than-usual German made you snap out of it?

My thoughts for the evening: I hope I'm just having a rather boring night of REM action right now, and when I wake up I'll be back on the guest mattress in Finland, complete with a certain someone peeking around the door to see if I'm awake yet.

Five Reasons Life is Beautiful: In Pictures

 Reason #1: Being able to make a best friend happy on her birthday.

Reason #2: Being lucky to not have just one amazing Mooma, but an amazing Äiti to give you a home away from home.

Reason #3: Grumpy Cat and the cheer he inevitably (and likely unwillingly) brings to everyone.

Reason #4: Life is better with a cider in the evenings.

Reason #5: Nuff said.

Kaaaaaarl, das tötet Leute!!

 

Mein liebes Pupu,

du fehlst mir. 

-Blogger trying to cope with mega-crazy Finnish pangs these days

 

Hartz IV-Empfänger

Ahhh, the end of the semester!

I know it's not actually the end of the semester (I have way too much to do in the next three days for that), but today is officially the first day where my alarm clock went off, as usual, for Monday morning class and I got to grumble, "Heh, heh, FU."

Speaking of which, I should probably turn the clock off so I don't have the same thing next week when it actually is semester break.

Anyhoo, I like summer break for a lot of reasons. I mean... it's not actually a break, but it's still fun to change my sleep schedule from early-up and early-bed to medium-early-up and late-bed. Morning person as I am, I write best at night, which kind of cramps my Grandma-style-in-bed-by-9 thing I have going on during the semester. All that extra time also means I can twiddle my thumbs all day and not feel guilty about it, knowing I'll be working six to eight hours straight that evening. It also usually means trips to Finland (though that comes later this year), but does definitely mean a visit from my Momma!!

Here's a potpourri of why I like summer:

• Even when the weather's bad, it's not -20 and snowing.
• Crappy weather? No problem. I love walking in the rain, as long as it's not to class.
• The sun is still shining a long time, but not obnoxiously till 23:00.
• I get really productive because I can write nights.
• Even though I actually end up working more than during the semester, since rarely have anything jamming up my schedule, I can work when I want to, which is far more relaxing.
• Maxie is happy because I am with him almost every day.
• I am happy because I get Maxie snuggles most of the day almost every day.
• Ice cream
• Fruit is on sale at the supermarket. Nectarines 750g for 89c! Woowoo!!!

And, for good measure, why I like this summer in particular:

• I no longer live in the 'hood, so there aren't children running around screaming all night in the streets. This means I might actually get to write something, and who knows? Maybe I'll even be more productive!
• I may have to do that statistics course, but I'm also working on two books (authoring articles for both and editing for one), which makes me feel like one of those "productive" members of society that somehow lives with a purpose.
• My Mooma is coming! My Mooma is coming!
• You know the other reason. And therefore know why I'm not running around, publishing it on my blog. I made that mistake on Facebook already. Oh the horror!!

The only thing I don't really like about summer break is taking Maxie out to do his business in the mornings. When I'm up during the semester (sometime between 5:30 and 6:00), I feel like a normal (read: productive) member of society who is just taking their dog out to do their business in sweats before getting off to work to feed the tax machine. It's kind of embarrassing, though, going out with crazy hair and sweats at 7:00 in the morning while everyone is already on their way to work in their fancy cars.

Last year, I'm pretty sure the neighbourhood thought I was a Hartz IV recipient. (For my non-German friends, see here.) I mean, when I first moved in, I was gone reasonable hours that ensured I could have at least been going to some kind of part-time job. Summer, though? Ha. I was always around. And the neighbours always were staring when Maxie's morning business became a later and later event. (I lived in a village. This is what people do, amirite?)

I mean, I suppose I could argue they were the Hartz IV-Empfänger since they were spending the day watching and criticizing me.

But, whatevs.

New city, new neighbours to think I'm a lazy git on Hartz IV.

I wish... I'd be living the high life compared to this. (Minus the random and impulsive trips across the globe, of course. It'd suck to give those up.)

Happy summer break, friends! (Yeah, not yet, but you all know how I like jumping the gun...)

March 27, 2012

I’m baaaa-aaaack! I’ve been back in Germany for about two weeks now, and I felt like sharing some things that have crossed my mind lately. (This is probably because I have a huge exam coming up, and like nothing better than to blog when I should be doing productive things.)

I really don’t like Cologne. But the fact March means the beginning of shorts-season and tree-budding almost makes me forget that I’d prefer to be pretty much anywhere else in the world.

When I sit back and compare what I ate in Canada in comparison to my German diet, it’s no wonder I gained 7kg back home. Eating out, eating junk food, and most importantly, eating when you’re not hungry, really does a number on your waistline.

Sometimes I wonder if, coming up on my fifth anniversary of first moving over here, I’m becoming too German. I’ve had professors tell me I “look too German” (and to stop that), and have had a few Germans tell me I’m more German than they are. Today, my German-ness is peeking through again. There are four men in suits standing outside my window, and I just spent the last fifteen minutes staring at them, wondering what in the world could bring men in suits to my suburban ghetto.

I missed the hell outta Maxie.

Unfortunately, I seem to have caught the Finland-bug again. Funny, I get homesick for Canada, and I get homesick for Finland (mostly just E.). I don’t know why this is. It could have something to do with my low threshold for 99.8% of Germans I know and Germany, in general. Or just the fact 99.8% of the people most important in my life are either in Canada or Finland. Or something.

I don’t stay in one place for very long. I know this about myself, and blame it on the fact I’ve never really lived anywhere longer than two and a half years since I was 18. For someone so adverse to change, I sure do like to bring it upon myself. This brings me to two points:

1. Since it’s not feasible to move with one year left in my MA, I moved my rooms around. Yes, my bed is now in my office, my couch in my kitchen, and my bedroom empty, but it’s satisfied the change-bug for the time being. No, I don’t care that my flat now looks ridiculous.
2. There are two factors determining where I do my PhD: if I like the faculty and there is room for my specialty there (duh), and if I can manage to stay in that particular place for three to six years. The latter is the one giving me the most mental trouble.

My CrackBerry is a godsend. Too bad I’m on it all the time and am pissing everyone off with it.
I’m tired all the time in Germany. I don’t know why this is. All I do is nap. Some people say it has something to do with the stress of living in another country. I like to think it has to do with the fact Maxie’s farts are so toxic, I slip into a coma multiple times per day. (Sorry… I bet you can tell what just happened halfway through THAT sentence…)

Bah. I have nothing to say. I’m tired. Time for a nap.

December 3, 2011

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!

Well, not really. Outside, it’s still — on average — eight or nine degrees centigrade, and some slow-poke trees are still working on shedding their leaves.

One thing I’ve noticed?

Those crazy Hürth-ians go crazy with the Christmas lights. It’s almost like being in Canada again, and definitely makes me seem like a humbug with my little electric candles in the window. Ah, well… Energy saving, and all that, I suppose. These sort of things are important when it’s dark by 16:00. That, and it’s 8:00 already, but the sky is still pretty dark. Bah.

In other news, I feel a bit like I’m drowning. You know, technically I’m taking fewer classes this semester than I did last semester. For some reason, it feels like my workload is about ten times what it was last semester. This may have something to do with the fact I’m still not done those extra “funsies” classes at AU, and will be holding a lecture at a conference in February.

As a result, I’ve been dropping classes like crazy. Weekly quizzes in Finnish? No thank you. I’m sorry, but I have to leave you for the time being, lovely Suomi. Only, unlike I predicted, I’m not giving up on you because you confused me. I’m giving up on you because I’ve got conferences to prepare, and I have to finish some of my term papers before the semester ends this time, because I need to spend the bulk of my semester break preparing for my first Master Exam in April.

So, of course, it makes sense that — given the drowning feeling — my tendency to blog my very well go up in the next couple of months.
Typical…

October 12, 2011

I’m not so pumped about my Finnish class.

No, it’s not why you think — it’s not because it’s too hard. Yet. (Though, I expect, I can begin blogging about that next week.)

My issue is that my Finnish class has about sixty people in it. This would normally be fine, except the class is supposed to be for beginners without any knowledge of the language.

What I would like to know, then, is why there only seem to be about five of us who can’t actually speak the language. You know, having a vocabulary of about 75-100 words as I do, I thought I was doing damn well.

Ha!

I mean, the teacher is teaching introductory stuff, which is awesome. What is not awesome is how discouraging it is that I didn’t know the days of the week when the chick sitting next to me knows what the Finnish word for “rock” is. Last time I checked, in an introductory class, it would be normal to know how to say hello and ask how someone is doing; not know words for things like “rock” or the verb “to kill”. (Yeah, WTF about that.)

I think I was studying German for a couple semesters before I came across vocab like that.
So, it’s discouraging. And, I finally had a breakthrough on Monday night. My first Finnish breakthrough! The crappy thing is, since I’m so far behind (as if that’s even possible in a beginners’ class), I don’t even feel like I can celebrate it.

Thus, I am blog-celebrating it with you, because you can just skip over this post and not actually read it. And I will be none the wiser!

As a bit of background, E. and her family run around saying two things all the time for “no”: “en” and “ei”.

Seeing as I didn’t understand anything, I never really got the hang of when someone said one and not the other. Until Monday evening, that is.

You see, in class on Monday, the teacher went was just touching base on some of the difficult things for non-native speakers of Finnish. One of the things she discussed is the Verneinungsformen (no idea what this is in English off-hand, and I’m way too lazy to translate it for you). Basically, in English, German, French, whatever, when we say no, it’s just no. However, those pesky Finns have different ways of negating something based on the personal pronoun.

Aha.

So, on Monday evening I was having a Finnish conversation which included being asked if I am speaking Finnish.

The response?

EN, because that’s the negation form for first-person singular.

BOOYAH!!!!
Breakthrough.

**********
Oh, and I also learned the very important difference between “minä tapan” and “minä tapaan”.
Hmph.

October 2, 2011

Hei! Minä olen 2-vuotias. -.-

So, today, as proper two-year-olds should, I’m learning my colours!

Yay!!

So far, I’m focusing on white, black, red and brown. White and black, well, since they’re staple colours (let’s not get into the argument of whether or not they are colours or shades, please), and brown because the Finnish word seems easy enough to learn. The word for red kept staring me in the face on its red background, so I figured I may as well learn it, too.

Maybe later today I will add on something crazy like blue or yellow, but for now, I’m trying to keep it all in my head. Mostly by reminding Maxie that he is black and brown. He still seems to be about as partial to Finnish as the first time I came home from Finland in ‘09 and started following him around asking “MITÄ?!” in that crazy baby-voice E. and T. use on Alma (Alma on kissa. ^^)
I’ll make him like it, damn it!!

Anyhoo, my four words of the day are: valkoinen, musta, punainen ja ruskea. (white, black, red and brown)

Yay!

(Oh, and for funsies, I’ll throw in, “Minulla on koira.” You know why? Because I already learned ”Minun koira on Max!” Ha.)

**And I’ll bet you really don’t care about any of this…**

September 28, 2011

So… Could anyone, anyone please tell me why I thought it was a good idea to sign up for Finnish classes?

I know I’ve posted the same thing ten million times already — maybe that should be taken as a sign of sorts.

You see, even though people think I’m good at languages, they actually couldn’t be less wrong. I suck at languages. I mean, my English is pretty good, but I guess it should be. Something about it being my native language. Or something.

I guess my German isn’t bad, either. I still have that massive gender problem (nope, that hasn’t changed in the last two weeks), but it’s good enough that I don’t really care anymore if it gets any better. A new word here or there, sure… But really, five years down the line, I’m comfortable with spending my energies elsewhere.

As for French, well… I’ve been taking French lessons on and off for about 15 years. And I’m still only B1.

In case that makes no sense to you, here’s some Wiki-Fun: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_European_Framework_of_Reference_for_Languages
The nice thing about French though, is even though my skills still suck, I’ve been at it long enough that it doesn’t bug me anymore, and when something whack comes up, I don’t really get surprised. After all, zee French are crazy!

I wish I could say this about the other languages I’ve picked up for various reasons, and then left in the rubble once I got to about A2. You know, like Russian, Spanish and Latin (don’t ask). Hopefully Finnish doesn’t also have to be found caught lying in the wreckage one day, too.
We’ll see, though.

The problem is that (with German and French, at least), I got by that nasty part a long time ago. You know… The part where you feel like your brain is going to explode in confusion and frustration, because whyintheworldwouldanyonelearnsuchastupidlanguage? I haven’t even started Finnish yet and already feel those sentiments.

Why so bitter, you ask? Well, classes don’t start for another week and a half, but seeing as a professor for one of my seminars set the entire coursework (with a week and a half notice) for us to do BEFORE the class starts, it only makes sense that I do unnecessary coursework for something else.

If you know me, you will know this is completely rational, and also to be completely expected. (Because, really, I should actually be finishing off my papers.)

So, I’ve decided to get a head-start on my Finnish, because I don’t want to be caught knowing all about kahvi maidola, but nothing else. I’ve thus decided to take it upon myself to learn one phrase per day before classes start. (I told you… I suck at learning languages. My retention capacity is almost null. Or in this case, nolla.)

Yesterday, I learned the VERY important “Ei se mitään!” Today, maybe it will be something more exciting, like “Ihanko totta?”

The one-phrase-a-day isn’t really what’s frustrating me. What’s frustrating me is the stupid numbers. I’ve never been good at numbers. Not even in English. Numbers have been the bane of my existence in EVERY language. Apparently Finnish is no exception.

And see, I decided to practice them, because I thought I was not so bad at them. Throw any number under one hundred at me, and I can just tell you what it is without thinking. Throw 1546 at me, and well… I mean. I know how to say it. But it’s painful. First I’ll say “one thousand”. Then I have to stop, empty out my brain and then say “five hundred”. Wait. Stop. Empty out the brain again. Now I can go onto “forty-six”. It takes me a good thirty seconds to spit the whole thing out.

Are my expectations too high? Probably. Well, yes. It’s probably why I keep dropping so many languages; you put days, weeks, months and years into trying to figure something out. And nothing happens. Of course, that “light bulb day” comes eventually (you know ... the day where everything clicks), but it’s really hard not to give up before then.

Oh, the things you’ll do for best friends so you can speak to their fathers and boyfriends…
Maybe my phrase of the day should be “Minä en puhu suomea.” Or, better yet, “Minä en ymmärrä.
Very, very important, you see.

September 10, 2011

I don’t know how people do it.

One of the first things that was most exciting to me when I landed back in Germany last week was that I could understand things again.

You know, my relationship with German hasn’t been an easy one. Whether it was breaking down in tears in German class at uni in Calgary when we had to learn irregular past-tense verbs (okay, I may have been a little bit hungover from seven-dollar triples the night before), or seriously considering throwing my computer at the wall whilst trying to do some homework, it hasn’t always been rosy.
In fact, I still get frustrated often, mostly (still) due to the gender issue.

But, you know, five years in, I think German and I are doing pretty good. I’ll never be a native speaker, but hey… If I was a native speaker, well… You wouldn’t want anything to do with my English. Give and take, you know.

What I don’t understand are the people who have lived in Germany for years and years without speaking the language. How do these people survive?? I have only been in Finland for about a grand total of six weeks of my life and it’s been enough for me to throw my hands up in the air and register for Finnish next semester at uni.

I mean, it’s nice that English is a pretty universal language and you can go pretty much anywhere with it, but it’s so UNCOMFORTABLE not knowing what’s going on around you.
How do these people stand it?

So, moral of the story, point one in my reconciliation experience is that if nothing else, it’s a lot more comfortable being somewhere where you know what’s going on.

Thank you, irregular past-tense verbs, for not giving up on me when I wanted to give up on you. <3

September 6, 2011

Where I come from (which is, I assume, similar to where most people come from), reconciliation is a pretty ugly word.

Sure, our friends over at dictionary.com say that one of the meanings of the verb “to reconcile” is:

-to compose or settle.

I suppose this is the pretty basic definition: make something fit together that didn’t fit together before/normally wouldn’t be fitting together on its own.
Funsies.

But, there’s the “darker” side to reconciliation that those same friends also mention:

-to cause (a person) to accept or be resigned to something not desired.

Ahhh… That’s better!
I’ll give you ten guesses as to what I’ve been trying to reconcile! Bzzzt! Time’s up! (Shoulda thought quicker, eh?)

Yeah, obviously — I’m having some teensy-tiny issues reconciling my Finnish vacation with as-per-usual business in Germany. Interestingly enough, though, despite the fact I left yesterday practically kicking and screaming, it’s not all bad (though the dramatic side of me wants to admit that it’s all bad, sad, depressing).

You see, I think I’ve discovered something — one of the draws I feel toward Finland is that I automatically feel comfortable there, and I’ve never had to struggle to feel that way.
Enter Germany in contrast.

When we circled in for approach in Frankfurt yesterday, I couldn’t help but think, “Ahhh, home,” despite that kicking/screaming voice inside of me persisting with, “No, no, no!! Not home!! You are unhappy to come back here!”

But I realized something — despite my mother raising my sister and me in the German way (well, about as German you can get in Canada, at least), loving Germany was kind of like learning to love coffee or wine; it’s an acquired taste. Now that I love it (like coffee and wine), I can’t imagine life without it. But it was a real struggle.

A real struggle.

Ah, but the epiphany of September 5, 2011 seems to be the fact that I started working long and hard at making life in Germany work before I even landed four years ago. And I’m proud of the blood, sweat and tears, and even if feeling comfortable here didn’t come as easily as it does in Finland, Germany is my home.

Okay. Introduction to my point complete (ha!).

This morning, though, kicking-and-screaming Ellie woke back up with a vengence. I mean, it’s nice to be home. I like my flat, I like snuggling with Maxie… I like all of it.

But, you know… I felt a little disappointed with my morning routine of: get dressed while Maxie gets impatient, get the coffee ready as Maxie gets even more impatient, feed Maxie, take him out to do his thang, and then come back in for a cup of coffee and updates on the interwebbies.

It kind of feels like getting back on a bike that you’ve been off for a couple years (even if it’s only been a couple of weeks). It felt like I was gone a lot longer than that, and this adjustment — going back instantly to the way everything was before I left — seems… weird and foreign to me.
Because this last trip to Finland gave me more food for thought than it normally does (that’s saying something), and I’m really… yes. Struggling. Like that guy from DiP: “I’m struggling. I. Am. Fucking. Struggling.”

Because:

Rational Ellie: “Ahh.. It’s so nice to be home in your flat with Maxie and everything.”
Kick/Scream Ellie: “The coffee tastes better in Finland.”
Rational Ellie: “It’s nice to be in my own four walls again.”
Kick/Scream Ellie: “Nobody is going to be excited to come home to see you after class.”

And so on. Mostly with the more serious stuff I wouldn’t post on the interwebbies. Except the coffee. That’s a disaster all by itself.

So? My new task? Reconcile what I now know about myself from my trip with the daily life I have built up here. Sure, it’ll be messy. But isn’t that the whole essence of the term reconciliation and the reason why people cringe just at the very thought of the word? Fitting things together that don’t go together?

September 1, 2011

Surprise, surprise. Ellie is having a hard time discerning what the concept of home is again.Really, it’s been an annoying preoccupation of mine for the last five years now. There was the binary Calgary/Edmonton opposition going on for awhile, and then I royally mixed things up by picking up and heading over to the motherland.

Which was only supposed to be a year. Which happened to stretch out over a number of them.
But, you know, since it was always supposed to be a temporary thing in the first place (which was emphasized by the fact my ex refused to let us buy any furniture “just in case” we picked up and moved somewhere else), I always took the stance that — though I lived in Deutschland and quite liked it there — Canada was my real home. Calgary, in particular, seeing as I adamantly refused to have anything to do with the Greater Edmonton region and preferred to pretend it was just a black hole that didn’t actually exist.

Then I moved back to Calgary and had the “Oh shit, I actually feel more at home in Germany” epiphany.

Na, toll.

So, I spent the greater part of my cool nine months (since two of the eleven were in Germany on, errr, vacation) in Canada planning a trip back over the pond.

But wait, there’s more! It wouldn’t be enough to be happy in Germany, oh no it wouldn’t. You see, because being happy and content and everything-is-hunky-dory-in-Germany would deny the fact that I actually had a life in Canada before moving over the first time, not to mention that huge growing spurt that was the nine-months-in-hell aka second-shot-at-Calgary-related-happiness it was.
So, is Germany completely home? Errr… still no.

Na, toll.

Then there is little Ellie, sad and homesick, not for Canada, but for familiar faces, preferably of people she actually likes to spend time with.

Enter an emergency trip to Finland.

Well fuck me. As if we needed to mix things up a little bit more.

There are a lot of things I like about Finland. One, it’s kind of like Canada. Only in Europe. Europe’s Canada, one could say. Best of both worlds, minus the bakeries that are actually found in “proper” Europe (aka Germany, France, Austria, etc.). Crappy weather, binge drinking, TV evenings and doing a whole heck of a lot of nothing. Which isn’t really vacation, but life as usual. Which is probably the way it’s supposed to be.

Then, there’s E.

I CANNOT believe how nice it’s been to sit with someone and talk openly about EVERYTHING.
It’s been a relaxed, I-don’t-give-a-crap-because-we’re-best-friends-anyway sort of deal, and that’s the way it should be. Spending time with E.’s family as if they were my family? Check. Time with g-parents? Also check. (And hey, they’re a lot more welcoming of me than the actual ones I have that are still alive.) Hanging around on the couch and watching Usain Bolt make an ass of himself/experiencing a growing interest in Newdick from New Zealand, for a variety of reasons which were aptly termed by J. as the “reason girls watch sports”? Also check.

This leads me to a new dilemma.

WHERE THE HELL IS MY HOME?

Because if you magically gave me some actual Finnish skills beyond pointing and saying “maito” or “Hän on tomppeli”, I’d be hard-pressed to not tell you it was Finland. Home is where the heart is, and all that.

I actually have a feeling of ice-cold dread when I think about going back to my regular life. Not because my regular life is crappy (well, aside from my research — which I brought with me to Finland anyway — it is pretty lackluster), but because it’s been such a treat having someone around who loves you for who you are.

I love Germany. It’s madlove. But not with the people. My madlove is with the scenery, the bakeries (as long as I’m not talking to the people behind the counter, mind), spending time with Maxie, my research, and doing my own thing. It’s not with the people who pretend to like me while I pretend to like them, even though we really don’t give two shits about each other.

True, you should always give a place time to let it (and the people) grow on you before throwing up your hands and calling it quitters.

But frankly, I’m still hard-pressed to believe it when my two best friends in the world became my best friends in less than a month. And still are. Chemistry, and all that.

And it’s not in Germany.

Which leads me to the big question…
What the heck am I doing??

August 5, 2011

There are about a quadrillion reasons I’m pumped to go to Finland in a few weeks, despite the fact I STILL don’t have a dog-sitter for Max.

One of the reasons is that I’m sick of Germans’ passive-aggressive bullshit. Most days I can handle it, but lately, the whole thing makes me feel like I’m been time-warped back to the fourth grade. None of that in Finland… not with the people I’m going to see.

I believe J.’s exact words were “You proved me wrong, because I thought only Finns were down to earth.” Actually, I’m pretty sure those weren’t the exact words, but you get the picture — OPPOSITE of passive-aggressive drama, that.

Because if nothing else, they are down to earth and open. And warm. And welcoming. And Finland looks like Canada. And the lakes. And the trees. And E. Gawd I miss her.

Yay for Finland and annual vacations there!!

(Pointless post about something you’re sick of me rambling on about? Yes, I’m aware.)

July 29, 2011

If you know me, you’ll know I’m kind of a freak about Finland.

You see, I went there for the first time back in 2009. Not just for funsies, mind, but because one of my friends from Cologne is Finnish. And she lives, you know, in Finland.

By the time I first visited her, I had been living abroad already for a couple of years, so I was pretty used to the whole living-in-Deutschland thing. I mean, by that time, I was already at the point where nothing really surprises me anymore. I was expecting Finland to be much of the same foreign-ness.
What I was not expecting was to land in a country that 100% resembles Canada minus the weirdo language. That’s for darn sure.

So, Finland has kind of become my Ersatz-Home. Even if I don’t understand a fekking thing those people are saying.

And why do I dare to bore you with these tales you’ve heard a million times?

Because I GO TO FINLAND SOON!!! Yaheeeeeee! I’m soon going to be in Moomin-lovin’, mosquito-ridden, it’s-practically-winter-in-September land. And, of course, since I start Finnish lessons next semester, it’ll also be the last time I have to worry about wandering around asking people if we can communicate in English or Russian instead.

And the thing is, since six months ago I ended my Germany-hiatus, I’m still going through waves of homesickness. This whole home-away-from-home thing couldn’t come at a better time. Friends, family and big sky.

Oooooh yeah.

Finland Pictures! Finally!

Okay, so I figure I'm never going to write a play-by-play of my trip to Finland. Unfortunately, it's never going to happen. So, I thought I'd at least post a couple pictures from my trip, seeing as I have nothing better to write about these days. So here goes...

So obviously, this isn't Finland. But E. had never had a really girls' night. You know, chick flicks to make you cry and so much junk food to make you throw up. Maybe it's a North American thing. So, we went to the market, got as much junk food as we could carry, and took it back to E. and L.'s place for some girl time. The only rule? L. wasn't allowed to join. I have to say though, E. really isn't too experienced with the whole junk food thing. She gave up about five minutes into Love Actually...

Another thing that gets me about Finland? It looks like Canada. The nice thing about knowing this, though, is that there are REAL places to go hiking and camping (not just this whole trailer-obsession that the Germans have). And, as an added bonus, it's a lot cheaper to fly to Finland than Canada. Seriously.

And this is E. and me at the Arctic Circle. I never thought I'd go so far north. And even more than that, I never thought it was possible to burn in the sun when you're that far north. Nice.

Oh, our bikes. They loved each other. Seriously. Every time we went downtown on our bikes, they'd end up entangled in their love for each other. Unfortunately, the love story, like so many, was short-lived. E.'s bike (well, actually her friend's) was stolen from their apartment complex before I left. They also cut the lock and tried to steal the one I was using (the white one). The lock was all twisted in the spokes. It was nasty. And seriously, who'd try to steal that sexy-looking bike? Really?

And here is a picture of the bay in downtown Oulu. It was quite nice there. E. and I would just sit here, eat ice cream, and listen to live music. The dude there had an obsession with Bryan Adams. On the plus side, that meant I could understand and sing along with the lyrics. That's always a bonus. And, I even understood what he meant at the end of every song when he said "Kiitos, kiitos."

Moi moi!

Hei!

Well, my trip in Finland is now coming to a close. What a week it's been! When I first got here, I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I definitely wasn't expecting everything to look like Canada! Yet, it does. So I feel oddly at home here, which as a plus. E. and L. have been great hosts, as were E.'s parents and siblings.

Our visit was split into three: a couple of days in Oulu where I did homework during the morning while E. worked, and then four days in Kemijärvi, followed by another two in Oulu. Oulu has been fun with a lot of bike riding and live-music listening. Kemijärvi was beautiful and warm, minus all the mosquitos -- I'm covered in bites. My foot has not only bites all along it (on the bones, too), but on the sole as well. How that happened, I'm not sure.

I'll be honest though. I'm pooped. There's something about twenty-four-hour sunlight that really impairs the sleep cycle. Although I'll be sad to leave, I'm definitely looking forward to my bed with the fan on, and rollies pulled down tight so I can sleep in the dark.

Also, I thought about giving a play-by-play of my trip. Maybe I still will. Maybe I'll do it in pieces, posting about one day at a time. But as I sit here, tired both mentally and physically, I really don't think I can manage. When I think about the enormity of such a task, I just want to roll over and sleep. Then again, I suppose it would be a fun thing to do when I'm homework-procrastinating. Hmm... seems like a good idea!

Wow... I've really got to get to bed, even if it is only 10:00! I've got a big day of travelling tomorrow (yuck).

Bis später...

Leaving on a Lentokone

Toyvottavasti!! (Hello... I think)

Well, I am one point five hours away from leaving Deutschland, and going to Finland! Juhu! I am sure that I will be bombarding you with pictures... maybe even later today! Who knows! I'm just hoping FinnAir has better luck than most of these planes lately that are either crashing, having cockpit fires, or having the pilot die of "natural causes" in the middle of the flight. I don't mean to make light of it, but I seriously hope none of that (or worse) happens on my flight, or any more flights for that matter.

Oh, I'm all a flutter. I'll have to post back when I've calmed down (in Finland!!!)

Hope your day is treating you well!

Hyvästi!

Back to the Grind

Well, finals are over, term papers have been handed in, the new semester has started, and I'm already knee-deep in Plato's "Symposium" and questions about marginal analysis. Fun, eh?

Last weekend was the Army Ball. I've got to say, it totally wasn't worth it! H. came home late every night for two months for what? So we could sit there for three hours, eat a mediocre meal, and

so I could laugh at the Americans' view of US history? Seriously? We're lucky someone else bought our tickets, or else there's no way I would have paid 70 euro for that!

In other news, I fly to Finland next week. I'm quite excited! And then finally I'll have good pictures to put up! I'm a little sad about leaving Maxie, but it'll be a nice break; he's been on such a power trip lately, and he's getting on my nerves. Luckily, E. works during the morning, so I'll be able to catch up on schoolwork while she's at work, and then we have the afternoons to hang out! I really hope her BF speaks English, though. Because of the five languages I could get by in, Finnish is definitely not one of them. It just looks like äääöölllliiihhä to me...

I guess it's back to reading for me... African American history and Plato, here I come! *insert rolling eyes here*