Things I Wanted to Know before Dying

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I go with the Mayan end-of-the-world drama again.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I like making lists, and pretending I'm going to die tomorrow gives me a good excuse to make more lists. Plus, my penchant for trying to make things sound as exciting as possible (which I typically fail miserably at) means I'm a sucker for sensationalism.

So, if I pretend that I am going to die tomorrow, here are some things I would be sad about not ever finding out:

• Who is the mother of Ted Mosby's children?
• Was Django Unchained as good as it was supposed to be?
• Who wrote me that cryptic Facebook message before I moved back to Germany?
• Does Nicholas Brody ever make it to Canada?
• How much wood could a woodchuck really chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
• Why has my asthma been so bad the last year? / Why has a large percentage of my body flat-out given up on me?
• Where is the best place to buy a good mattress that is both affordable and will last me for many years to come?
• Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Brüno

So, last night I went to go see Brüno. One word: WUNDERBAR!

As you probably know, it takes a lot to shock me. Things that disgust most people interest me. I'm weird like that. And Brüno was no exception. I was excited to find people I could actually go with, seeing as H. really isn't interested in that sort of thing. Come to think of it, most people I know aren't, seeing as they're normal and all. But I laughed the entire time.

I really couldn't believe, though, that they played this movie in Germany. There were so many cracks at Nazi Germany I thought people would get up and walk out. The second misunderstood Austrian in the last century? Wow. Saluting at the US military by giving the Nazi salute? My goodness! And going on an African American talk show with your "gayby" O.J.? Priceless.

Some may call it tasteless. And when I say some, I mean the other 99.9% of the population that aren't mentally sick, like me. But I think Brüno did an excellent job of saying what everyone is thinking. And somehow, he did so and made it out of the Middle East alive. King Obama looks like a homeless Santa Claus? Yikes.

If you don't scare easily/have any morals, go see Brüno. And if you aren't into that sort of thing, be horrified that there is actually a portion of the population that is demented enough to find this sort of stuff funny.

My rating? 3 dildos up (one white, one black, and one strap-on)