Yeah, it’s been a long time since I wrote anything. Probably you’re not even checking up on my blog anymore. I know this, because it is likely you’re as stressed out as I am. Heck, I’ve been gone so long, Tumblr finally signed me out of my account. That’s a first.
Anyhoo, I have too much and not enough to say all at once. You know I’m busy, and you know I’m tired. Now that it seems summer has finally arrived (about the same time that it comes around in the Great White North), I find myself with even less time, somehow.
But, yeah. I’m moving. You probably know this.
Why am I moving, you ask?
Well, I decided I’m gonna tough it out in NRW after all. I mean, if you’d asked me in 2007 (or ‘08, ‘09, ‘10, ‘11… ‘12… you get the picture) if I wanted to settle down in NRW, I would have laughed in your face, probably spitting at you in the process. I guess in some ways, I am more resigned than anything else in my decision to stay here.
I mean, come on — you all know I don’t actually find it very nice here.
The thing is, though, my friends make it nice. My day-to-day routines make it nice. The networks I’m building make it nice.
Yes, I could run off and do my DPhil in Erfurt or Tampere. Commute from love-of-my-life Stuttgart. I could go to the UK to do it, and I could probably even swing it in France. I could not, however, swing it in the US. But this is mostly because of tuition, and all that.
The thing is, though, I’m just getting too damn old to start over AGAIN.
Maybe I should reiterate since plenty of normal mid-twenty-somethings pick up shop without a problem.
I’m SICK of doing it and starting over all the time makes me feel OLD.
Nevertheless, my hatred for Cologne is undeniable. I’m not sure this will ever leave me.
So I’ve reached a happy medium. I am moving to a MUCH more beautiful city that is close enough to my friends and life. The best of both worlds, and all that. Plus, I’ll be awfully close to the Rhein, and I’m sure Maxie will love that. Like I said, I have to be sure, but I’m not actually sure, because I don’t think Maxie has ever seen a body of water larger than a puddle in his little life. He will probably be overwhelmed and run in the opposite direction with his tail between his legs, knowing him.
I’m quite sure (as sure as you can be without actually knowing) that this move will give me the fresh start with the added dose of familiarity that I need. New city, new people, old people. It’s exactly what I need. Plus the flat has a balcony where Maxie can sun himself.
I’m starting to wonder, though, how many times I will have to say that I’m not moving again before I actually, well… stop moving. Maybe it all has to do with frame of mind.
I mean, I moved to the flat I’m currently in with the plan to stay here for a maximum of TWO years, but maybe less. I wasn’t planning on staying after my MA, that’s for sure. But with this flat, I’m going in with the expectation I’ll be around for the next five to six, excepting, of course, times when I’m off doing research. But, I want it to be my home for the long term.
I’m hoping that frame of mind actually helps me stick there. I’ve finally felt more at “home” since I have in Calgary in 2007, except I don’t have the physical “home” location to go to. I’m hoping that in a couple of weeks I’ll finally be able to exhale, put my feet up, and switch my computer on to prepare for the next half-decade of researching and typing.
I’m sure this will not go as smoothly as I’d like it to.
On the plus side, two (wait, three) overseas moves has made me particularly resourceful with packing. Who needs packing paper and wrap when you have perfectly good lululemon tank tops that worked as across-the-ocean wrapping??
No comments:
Post a Comment