Five Ways to FAIL as a Professor

I know you get it at every university: retarded professors. But some really just take the cake, like one of my professors from this past semester. Here goes:

1. Identifications are an important part of the class. Cool. But please don't give us an identification that has different meanings depending on the time period. And if you do, please hint at which time period you're thinking of. When your class covers the events spanning a couple of millennia, don't give me a zero, saying I "picked the wrong date." You didn't give me anything to work off of.

2. I appreciate you giving us hints as to what's on the final. I really do. But please don't say to study a certain group of things and then say we don't need the other stuff. Then, you go and put that 'other stuff' on the exam. Lying isn't funny. Maybe it was an amateur mistake on my part, trusting the professor. Lesson learned. But in all honesty, I'd much rather you say "learn it all." Because then I WILL learn it all.

3. I get that you fall ill and have computer troubles. So do I. So does everyone else. But you, the professor, are weeks behind on everything. If you want us to keep up with the class, you should keep up, too.

4. If our reading is from pages 400-450 and you say the questions are from pages 400-450, please don't have the questions coming from pages 280 and 630. Yes, I can go to those pages to find what I need to answer your questions. But it goes back to that lying thing. I don't like it.

5. Please do not drag our semester into the next semester. My next classes start on Monday. I do not need to be catching up on work that can be done before this date. Participation isn't just me speaking my piece, but responding to others. If they don't do their part by Monday, I can't finish mine. And I'd much rather be moving on with my life.