Kölle Alaaf!

No offence to all you born-and-bred Rheinland people (or the "immigrants" who try really, really hard to fit in), but I just really can't take Karneval. I'm not a fan of loud, drunk groups of people in the first place, and those same loud, drunk groups of people take on a whole new dimension of crazy when they're dressed up.

Yes. Karneval is like mostly all the things I hate in the entire world mashed together into one week of debauchery.

Drunk groups of people making a ruckus? Check.

People dressed up like wackos? Check.

Schlager? Check.

Clowns? Also check.

I suppose I sound like a real downer (and I suppose I am), but the last time I dressed up for Halloween (which is as close as we Canucks get to this sort of clusterfuck), I was twelve. I mean, unless you count the time I went on a pub crawl when I was nineteen and put on a pair of shorts, a skimpy top and a cowboy hat to call myself a "sexy cowgirl". (See the link -- NSFW -- of other "sexy cowgirls" who highlight the fact that, as long as you're wearing a cowboy hat, you are a cowgirl. Full stop.) But anyway, I also don't like clowns. Or having to watch my step on the street to avoid vomit.

Normally I flee. Preferably to Canada. Really, though, I'd go anywhere. But, for a multitude of reasons, I find myself stuck here over the weekend.

So, after work at one job all day and then a meeting for my other job, I headed to the grocery store to stock up on provisions since I'm locking myself in my flat until Tuesday. Standing in line before me was a mouse buying pizza, and behind me were two dudes in bear suits buying a couple bottles of beer. Those were those same bears I saw on my walk home peeing on cars.

Ah, Karneval.

What Made my Day...

...The fact that you can order Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, albeit for an extortionate price, at Amazon.de.

I no longer need to feel guilty about eating the stuff shipped to me from Canada, although it may continue to be cheaper to keep asking people to bring it with them than ordering on the internet.

Day. Made.

How I've been Feeling Lately

(No offence intended to those of you I do like... Which is more than likely if you're reading here in the first place.)

A New Year

And a Happy 2013 to you!

I hope you all rang in 2013 happily, and I wish you the best of luck in writing "2013" and not "2012" on your first try when noting the date in the next couple of weeks!

Are you the kind of person who makes New Year's resolutions?

I'm normally not. I'm actually a firm believer that, if you really want to do something and stick to it, you should do it when you want to do it and not on January 1st when there's all that pressure.

In Stuttgart yesterday, we attempted this whole thing practised by a friend of a friend's husband where, when the clock strikes twelve, you eat a grape each time the bell tolls (for a total of twelve) while reciting twelve wishes to yourself that you hope to come true for the next year.

You know, when you're listening to the bells on Sunday morning, it doesn't really occur to you that the bell tolls rather quickly. When you're trying to chew/swallow grapes during those seconds, however, you realize the bell actually rings at a rather speedy pace.

I admit I was only coordinated enough to get through about nine wishes (which only really consisted of key words because I'm not a very fast thinker), and those wishes were not so much resolutions as things I already plan to get done this year, but it was a cool idea nonetheless.

Though I don't really make resolutions, the one thing I'd really like to do this year is stop forgetting to not stand like a German and correct my posture. I've been trying to rectify this for a couple of months already with little success.

So, that's my ongoing goal, among others.

Yeah...

Happy New Year, с Новым годом, bonne année, gutes Neues, etc.

(Standing German picture from http://blog.corewalking.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/4.-Clothed-Slouch-Redux2.jpg)

Happy Holidays!

Things I Wanted to Know before Dying

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here I go with the Mayan end-of-the-world drama again.

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I like making lists, and pretending I'm going to die tomorrow gives me a good excuse to make more lists. Plus, my penchant for trying to make things sound as exciting as possible (which I typically fail miserably at) means I'm a sucker for sensationalism.

So, if I pretend that I am going to die tomorrow, here are some things I would be sad about not ever finding out:

• Who is the mother of Ted Mosby's children?
• Was Django Unchained as good as it was supposed to be?
• Who wrote me that cryptic Facebook message before I moved back to Germany?
• Does Nicholas Brody ever make it to Canada?
• How much wood could a woodchuck really chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
• Why has my asthma been so bad the last year? / Why has a large percentage of my body flat-out given up on me?
• Where is the best place to buy a good mattress that is both affordable and will last me for many years to come?
• Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

Because I like Memes and Grumpy Cat