Change of Address -- Unnerving

As (most of) you know, I've recently moved house. As (most of) you know, moving house comes with a ton of annoying address changes and trying to figure out where you have accounts, contracts and subscriptions.

Most normal people, being normal in their ever-so-normal way will order mail forwarding in order to give them time to get their ducks in a row and take note of all the crap they get by mail on a daily basis.

The last time I did this (as in, last year), mail forwarding was just that -- I got (most of) my mail forwarded to me.

Fast forward to this year, and after sending in my request to Deutsche Post, I got an email from my insurance company where I have my Haftpflichtversicherung saying that they'd gotten my new address from Deutsche Post and they'd kindly updated it for me. (All this, despite the fact I made sure to uncheck the "forward my new address to the appropriate peoples" box since I'm a control freak.) At least they were nice enough to inform me. When I (finally) went to update my address with O2 today, I was rather surprised when my updated address was already in the system.

Maybe I didn't check/uncheck that stupid box properly in the first place.

Still, the whole thing is more confusing than if I'd just have done all the address changes myself. Sure, my phone and third-party liability insurance automatically updated themselves, but neither my health insurance nor my internet provider did.

How am I supposed to know who updates my address and who doesn't unless I just go into each account and check anyway? (I may as well update all my addresses myself, frankly. I'm completely durcheinander.)

Dear Deutsche Post,

Either go to town and ask everyone to update my addresses, or don't do it at all. The last thing you want is for people to "rely" on your service, only to find out they are missing a whole whack of mail after their mail forwarding ends.

Or maybe that is what you want. *conspiracy*

Mit freundlichen Grüßen

For Someone Special (You Know Who You Are)

Frühling ist da!

Don't get me wrong -- I don't like -30 and snow. I mean, I'm a crazy person, but not that much of a crazy person. While I'm at it, I don't much like a one-and-a-half-month summer.

I mean, life in Germany isn't that much better. It rains 346 days per year, for which ten nice days are hardly any consolation.

As much as I like the fact that Germany is warmer than back home at any given time, the seasons here still -- after six years, mind -- have a way of messing with me. Back home, we have the seasons of: almost winter, winter, still winter and construction. At the beginning in Germany, I liked having the four distinct seasons of: rain, cold rain, warm rain and yes it's still raining, mostly because there were leaves on the trees for more than two and a half months in any given year.

You'd think that, after all this time, the weather here would become normal and expected.

But, no. Really.

Last year I came back home from a winter-break trip to Canada in the middle of March. I ran around snapping pictures of the budding trees, because after so long, I still couldn't believe it. I came back from Finland this week, marvelling at the warm weather and the fact the Germans were still running around in coats like the winter apocalypse was coming (if they only knew a real winter...).

As nice as not having to be bundled up is, though, it just feels wrong. The back of my mind is still, after all these years, saying, "Just you wait! The heavy May/June snowfall that kills all the trees is still coming."

The one thing that was nice about Finland was that it was still winter. Technically the weather was warmer than seasonal, but there was still a bucketload of snow with temperatures regularly dipping fairly below freezing. March. Winter. Cold. Snow. Right.

Germany weather. Wrong.

I should stop complaining and bring out my nice summer pumps before the rain starts again.

But it just feels wrong that spring is springing. Cold weather is in the blood of a Canadian.

It's kind of like that temperature chart that has been floating around the interwebbies since the day the interwebbies were born:


50 Fahrenheit (10 C)
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat
Canadians plant gardens


40 Fahrenheit (4.4 C)
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Canadians sunbathe

35 Fahrenheit (1.6 C)
Italian Cars won't start
Canadians drive with the windows down


32 Fahrenheit (0 C)
Distilled water freezes
Canadian water gets thicker

0 Fahrenheit (-17.9 C)
New York City landlords finally turn on the heat
Canadians have the last cookout of the season

-40 Fahrenheit (-40 C)
Hollywood disintegrates
Canadians rent some videos

-60 Fahrenheit (-51 C)
Mt. St. Helen's freezes
Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door

-100 Fahrenheit (-73 C)
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole
Canadians pull down their earflaps


-173 Fahrenheit (-114 C)
Ethyl alcohol freezes
Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg


-459.4 Fahrenheit (-273 C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops
Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500 Fahrenheit (-295 C)
Hell freezes over
The Flames win the Cup


(Yeah, it's been a slow day. But didn't you know that talking about the weather is a favoured national Canadian pastime?)

I want me some JT/Barney Stinson NOW, AKA LIKE YESTERDAY

The whole media/culture constellation in Krautland is wack.

I mean, there's the whole GEZtapo thing, which is now attempting to market itself as a "service" rather than a fucking tax that people don't get to vote on democratically (as if voting ever made a super duper difference anyway). Though I have a whole lot I could say about the Geztap... *ahem* Beitragsservice, today (like every day) my beef is with GEMA.*

I hate GEMA because it makes me feel disconnected with the coolness out on the world wide web. Also because it's frustrating to hear about how something is "all the rave", but then find out that you are not able to partake in said rave.

So, today I was watching sxephil on YouTube again (Dear GEMA: Block him and it's over. For realsies.), and he had a video which ever so hinted at the awesomeness of Suit & Tie.

Alas, what did I find?

Oh, yeah.

Normally Clipfish solves most of my problems if I'm trying to find an original video of something embarrassingly awesome (which is even more embarrassing judging by the fact something so awesome only has 35K hits -- awesome website, brah), but there's no official video of Suit & Tie on there yet. Probably because someone at Clipfish is in bed with someone at GEMA, and one of those someones hasn't finished pulling out and washing up in order to upload the fucking video yet.


I hate feeling so restricted in my internet surfing/stalking of cute cat and JT videos. And I hate that it necessitates people to encourage me to do sketchy internet things to get around these issues of silly things like international borders/censorship because the German government/related cronies all want their fair chance to sink their dirty hands into the honey jar.

FFS, I want JT's video just so I can be like "Heh! This is totally Barney's theme song! LMFAO!" with the rest of the world.

Is that too much to ask?!

*For those overseas folk of you, GEMA is a nice system that technically exists to give artists of all kinds the royalties they deserve. This is questionable since GEMA apparently takes a nice slice of that pie. It is also completely annoying because the end result is Germany being more censored from internet awesomeness than communist China. For more news, you could search on the interwebbies and read for days!

Survivor 26: Douchebags vs. Wingnuts

Survivor 26 Fan vs. Favorites Premiere: An Ode to Boston Rob 

(How Fitting for Valentine's Day...)

 

First of all, stop silently judging me. As it just so happens, German TV is crap, and the twenty-sixth season of Survivor happens to be available on the internet during the lull of the week when nothing interesting is on. And, for funsies, it makes me feel old as heck since I stopped watching it religiously back in Season Effing Eight, back in my first semester of college.

I don't know what makes me feel older... The fact I distinctly remember drooling over love-of-my-life Colby Donaldson of Australia back when I was at swim camp in Arizona in those olden days when I was still an athlete, or the fact I'll soon be closing in on a decade of post-secondary.

So, anyway, I decided to watch the first episode. And because of the fact I'd actually be more in love (you know, in the way teenage girls are in love with celebrities... as in: not actually) with Boston Rob than Colby if he wasn't married to freaking hot Ambaaah, I couldn't get him out of my head the entire episode. For the obvious reasons, and also because it seems the only way them Survivor folk can keep people interested across the plethora of seasons is to constantly mention either Boston Rob as a HERO OF THE GAME, or Russell Hantz as the DEVIL HIMSELF REINCARNATED. 

So, in an ode-to-Boston-Rob way, here are some Season 26 Episode 1 survivor dedications to him -- both intentional and not -- in the first episode.

1. Some crazy woman (they seem to only cast identical blondes, so please excuse me when I don't note her name until she's already voted off) noted the following the snogging of fire-fighter Eddie* and some other blonde who shall remain nameless: 

"Romantic alliances do not work on Survivor."

Now, please excuse me, Nameless Crazy Blonde, but may I please direct your attention to the likes of Boston Rob and Ambaaah, as well as Ethan and Jenna. There are also websites for people crazier than me out there who document more of the Survivor-lovers. Maybe YOU do not work on Survivor.

2. Underwear Phillip running a tally of Boston Rob's rules. BR rule number one! BR rule number two! BR rule number three! Blah, blah something about cutting everyone's throats except for family and Ambaaah, because her body is slammin'!

3. Okay, this one is not so obvious, which pretty much means I just made it up, but Eddie's whole "This is like the cool guys at the table in the cafeteria in high school"... First, omfg shut up. Second, I'm pretty sure you were not at BR's cool table in high school.

4. And, in closing to a blog post that turned from cheeky to miserably stalker-obsessed, there's the whole tribal council thing where Jeff felt like reminding people that real players of Survivor know the game moves fast, and that things can even change at tribal council. You know, like how Boston Rob would put a hand on the person's shoulder who was going to be voted out. Because he was the ringleader of the cool guys' table at high school and all that.

Oh, and by the by, kudos to Brandon for pointing that out. After an observant comment like that, you didn't have to see next week's preview to know he's just as snakey as his devil-reincarnated uncle.

*By the way Eddie, props to you for having the aptly named surname of Fox. Also, you're 23. Please stop making me feel like a grandmother/cradle robber. Thank you.

Okay, I've stopped. You may now return to your regular scheduled programming... You know, about stuff you actually care about. And while you're back with your regular scheduled programming, could you please pray for me that I don't also start blogging about Germany's Next Topmodel in a couple weeks?

xthxbye

Because I like Memes and Grumpy Cat

Thanks, Phil

Hooo, back in the day when I was a married person, my ex and I used to watch the Philip DeFranco Show on YouTube. I'll be the first person to admit that I hate 99.987% of YouTube personalities due to their annoying... personalities. Somehow, though, the weirdo mix of news on PDS has always made me happy, and though I don't agree with a significant amount of what is said on the show, it's still something I tune into at least once a week. Maybe out of habit. Or because I then have a 43% chance at laughing. One or the other.

Let's be honest here. As a mid-twenties-something, I'm at the awkward age of being too young to know what real life is all about (according to the older set anyway, which I suppose is true), yet I've gathered enough life experience (read: survived enough crap) to have little to nothing in common with the younger set. So, I'm brushed off as being inexperienced at life without being inexperienced enough to revel in my ignorance.

So, here's a nice video about someone else revelling in their mid-twenties-something madness...

I mean... I don't really find anything he says to be extraordinarily ground-breaking or answer-giving, but it is nice to every so often hear a voice from the mid-twenties set that makes me know I haven't completely lost it.

You know, solidarity and all that.

Kaaaaaarl, das tötet Leute!!

 

Mein liebes Pupu,

du fehlst mir. 

-Blogger trying to cope with mega-crazy Finnish pangs these days

 

Be Careful What You Post on the Internet

Internet safety. Blah, blah. Don't share any personal information, don't do this, don't do that. It's been drilled into our heads forever. And yet, people still slip up. Sometimes it's serious, and people get hurt. I'd prefer not to focus on that, though. I'd prefer to focus on the funny. And when I say funny, I mean funny for everyone except the person involved.

Confused? Allow me to explain.

I'm a member of a web-site called Toytown Germany. Basically, a site for expatriates in Germany. *ahem* ENGLISH-speaking expatriates. Despite all the good information that comes across the site, however, there is a lot of baloney. Sometimes the baloney is of a serious nature, such as discussions about the Air France airbus that recently went down in the ocean. Other times, we get caught up in hot topics such as gay marriage and US immigration. (In case you didn't know, gays aren't allowed to immigrate into the US to be with their partner.) Anyway, what started out as a good discussion has turned into a load of baloney. And by a load of baloney, I mean gays arguing with closed-minded heterosexuals about sodomy and being homosexual in general. 

But I'm not here to discuss gay rights. I'm here to highlight the complete idiocy of one of the members. This member was bright enough to use his last name as his user-name. Incidentally, I didn't know it was actually his last name until today, when another member googled the dummy. (Did I mention this last-name-using idiot member was basically referring to gays as sodomites, as if heterosexuals don't do it, and involving himself in general gay-bashing.) So, another member googled his last name, which just so happens to show up on the first page of hits. Some quick research and comparing of his profile information on Toytown and the information on Google shows that he is an associate professor at a university in the States. 

You can see his CV, picture, and publications online. Everything. Now, this is useful for students at the university to find out more about their professors. But it's also available to everyone. So is the idiocy he posted on Toytown. 

A lot of people generate random pseudonyms on the internet to stir things up. It's called trolling. It's nothing new, really. And usually, it doesn't matter; the worst that happens is you get kicked off the web-site for being a general pain in the butt. For this noob, though? Posting such information could be potentially harmful for his career, seeing as his university claims their professors to not engage in bigotry (which was happening on Toytown). 

I'm not going to say who this dummy was, because it's not my place. I'm not really revealing anything secret, either, as all the information is on the internet for everyone to see. Besides, if you're really curious, I've given you enough information to connect the dots on who this guy is. 

But, even though my post is about this dumb-head (that would be a rough translation from Dummkopf), it's not really about him. It's not even about internet safety as much as internet awareness. We share more on the internet than everyone said to. And for the most part, our lives stay the same; perhaps, after a bad run-in, you may be internet-stalked like I was for awhile, or some other little annoyance may happen. But be careful of what CONTENT you post online. The internet isn't always anonymous, and things you say in cyberspace could come back to haunt you. 

Moral of the story? If you want to troll around the internet and be a general idiot, go to an internet café, sign up with a ridiculous pseudonym that could in no way be traced back to you, and go nuts. But if you have a PhD, please be smart and not post bigoted things that can be traced back to you. Internet awareness one-oh-one.