Oilers/Age Rant

So, I admit it. I'm out of touch with the whole hockey world. I mean, let's face it. I've never known much about hockey in the first place. I never played as a kid, seeing as I can't skate, and I don't know much about the sport as a whole. Trust me, reading the stats every day in the Calgary Herald or Edmonton Journal doesn't provide all that much knowledge aside from trades. Combine that with the fact I've been out of Hockey Country Canada for the last three seasons. I'm seriously out of date.

But I love my Oilers.

And I like to pretend I know what I'm talking about when I rant and rave about hockey. So just amuse me for a second.

Why, why, WHY, did the Oilers sign Mike Comrie again? My dad sent me a forward the other day making fun of him, as usual. Only this time, Comrie was in the Oilers' dressing room. And for some reason, the forward didn't strike me as being one from 2005. So I check the web-site, and my worst nightmare is confirmed.

Mike Comrie is back in Edmonton. What a douche.

Well, shoot. So much for me wanting to go to a bunch of Oil games when I'm back home. Unless they still boo the bastard. Then I'm in 100%.

Which got me looking at the roster a little bit closer. For some reason, I've discovered, about half of the players on the Oilers this season are either my age or younger. A small handful were born in the 70s. Now, I'd like to know when this happened. This year, all of a sudden it seems, I feel old. Taylor Lautner is in New Moon, and he is seventeen and wonderfully hot and buff. Did I mention he's seventeen? The Oilers have signed a Finnish player to the team who was born in 1991. Yes, 1991. I have a cousin who was born in 1992. I remember holding her when she was a BABY and bottle-feeding her. And now her peers could be playing in the NHL within the next couple years. Why not? People I hung out with in junior high school would already be part of the "old" people group on the team.

What gives? When did this happen? When did everyone become younger than me?

I haven't even hit my mid-twenties yet, but I feel like I'm having some sort of middle-aged crisis. Since when is 23 old? It's not, you're probably thinking. And that's what I thought, too. Until everyone started either having babies or playing professional hockey.

I'm distraught.